Random Shit

1. See the pic to the left: THIS is what happens when you wear tennis shoes and flip flops all winter long, buy your 1st pair of hoochie shoes for the sping season, wear them for the 1st time out on a Saturday night, drink WAY too much tequila, meet a fighter man with big muscles, dance a bunch, ignore the pain so Mr. Muscles won't see you limping and think you're too uncool for him, then discover the next morning when you wake up (in a the midst of a severe hangover) that your new adorable shoes have worn a hole in your second to littlest toe and it hurts like a muthafuckin' bitch from hell. And the absolute best thing to do after that is to not treat it with any antibiotic ointment (because your allergic to the only kind in the house), NOT even put a bandaid on it and then go out AGAIN the next night wearing socks and boots over it hoping to accidently run into Mr. Muscle again, then STILL do nothing to treat it for another 3 days. I'm here to tell ya...the shit is infected...I KNOW it is. I'm now reduced to pouring peroxide over it every hour and watching the pretty bubbles and am waiting for the red line to begin running up my leg so I can go to the freakin' hospital and get treated for blood poisoning. This pic does NOT do it justice. It HURTS people and it looks NASTY. Feel at least a little sorry for me, will ya?

2. (Reminder: I'm on a fat gram counting diet and in a weight loss contest) I have a question...When the box for the "Healthy Choice" meal I'm eating says that it's 8 grams of fat per serving and the serving size is 1 meal, have they accounting for me licking the tray? Oh and just in case you ever wondered, squeezable fat free butter sucks ASS and so does the butterISH buds sprinkle shit.

3. I am STILL recovering from tequila fest night 2006, Gatorade is my BEST friend.

4. Kharma just sneezed on me so, for the record, that makes 2 room-clearing air-freshener-resistant kitty farts and a snot-flying kitty sneeze in the last 6 hours. I hope she knows how much I love her to put up with that shit. (see previous post)

5. I'm hooked on the "Doodle Bops".

6. I put a glob of reduced fat mayonaise on the underside of AH's car door handle this morning. OK, not really, but I might do it tomorrow. The shit's gotta be good for SOMETHING.

7. I'm 34 years old and was crying this morning about my crappy childhood. That is MESSED UP!

8. AH passed out in the middle of us playing Trivial Pursuit Genious Edition. I'm finding that a little bit ironic.

9. Green tea rocks!

10. My toe still hurts.