New Name Game: Group participation requested

I got this email from a friend the other day and thought I'd share so others can play too. I'd love to hear YOUR new names. Go ahead and put them in the comments if you want to. Example: according to this, my new name is Crusty Pottylips (it couldn't get worse than that) and my daughter is Sloopy Dippinfanny. Have fun! ~ Sherri

"The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names..."

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:
a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.

EDIT: My 13 year old daughter is home sick today and she and I were just wondering. What do you think it would be like if, when I went to register her for High School, we used our new names. "Hi, I need to register my daughter for school. Her name? Yes, it's Sloopy....Last Name, Dippenfanny..D.I.P.P.E.N.fanny. Oh, of course....My Name is Crusty .....Pottylips. What? Could I repeat that? Yes, Crusty POTTYLIPS." Ewwwwwww...........