I'm dying to tell somebody

My friend just started cocktail waitressing at the local bar/club I go to. She called me before she went in to work tonight and asked me to come down and give her moral support. I told her maybe and settled in on the couch to watch TV. I watched a movie or two and then decided, what the hell, I could use a drink. So I put on some makeup, changed my clothes and took off. I got there at about 11:30.

I'd been at the bar for about 15 minutes when I turned to see someone smiling at me. It was this guy I have had a crush on for years. We had seen each other off and on in the past and have been just friends since then because he got a girlfriend and I was seeing AH. I never got over my crush on him though and when he disappeared about a year and a half ago I was very sad. I asked several people where he went and no one knew. The best guesses were that he was working on a fishing boat in Alaska or had joined the military.

He is a tall stocky boy in his late 20s (can't remember his exact age) and is cute as hell. Muscles and dimples. Damn. And from what I remember from years ago, everything else is extra nice too. *wink* He sat down beside me and told me he has been in Texas for a job but has been transferred back here and is staying for good. He is VERY affectionate and was happy to see me.

As he was giving me about my tenth hug and kiss on the forehead, I looked up and caught the eye of another guy standing right across from us. It was Fighter Boy. Oh hell. He made it obvious for the rest of the evening that he was watching us but, thank G, never came over and said anything. My friend is about 6'4" and about 250 lbs but Fighter Boy is too and, well, is a cage fighter. Remember him? I would have hated to see the two of them get into it. I'm glad he was content with just giving me the "what the hell are you doing with another guy" look. Hey, Fighter Boy, maybe you shouldn't be jealous because it turned out that you're MARRIED, remember???? Anyway, my friend ended up getting a little tipsy by the end of the night so I offered him a ride home. He had been at a friend's BBQ drinking before he even got to the bar and really was in no shape to drive. When we got to his house, he wanted me to stay the night. I told him I was just dropping him off and going home. We compromised and settled for cuddling on the couch and watching a movie. Don't ask me what the movie was about because we both fell asleep. I got home at 5:00 am just as AH was leaving for work.

AH would shit if he knew who I was with. He saw my friend at the bar once when we first met and said "Look at the arms on that guy. I wouldn't wanna be hit by him". I told him soon after that I had sort of been seeing the guy with the big arms and he still brings his name up sometimes when we fight. I'm tempted to tell him this time too but I didn't really do anything bad and why bring my friend into our problems. AH wouldn't believe that I didn't sleep with him anyway. He thinks everyone has the same morals as he does and would screw anyone at anytime. Not that this boy isn't screwable. Believe me, cuddling and holding hands felt nice and I am very attention starved right now. I'll admit that I was more than tempted. I think I should get a prize for walking away from that shit, seriously.

My friend has my cell phone # and might be calling me later today to go get his car from the bar. That was the deal I made with him to get him not to drive drunk. I'm such a good deed doer. With no ulterior motives what so ever. I mean, it's not like I wanna see him again soon or anything. *cough*bullshit*cough. Ok, maybe I'd like some more hugs. He's VERY huggable. My face fits right under his chin and into his neck and his big arms wrap around me very nicely. He makes me feel safe and secure and when he kisses me on the forehead it makes me feel special.

Don't be saying I sound like a sixth grader with a crush. I don't. And I am not thinking of him every second right now, I don't have a silly ass grin on my face, I'm not all dreamy eyed and I do not keep smelling my shirt because it smells like his cologne. Don't think I'm doing that shit.

Mmmmmmmm. Damn. I'll never wash this shirt again. I really, really, really need to get this job. Moving into my own place just became a WAY more urgent matter.