It's been a while...

I was actually waiting until I had some nice things to say but it just hasn't worked out that way. Last week was rough and this is a real bummer of a post so move on if you can't handle it right now. No hard feelings.

The cell phone company recruiter lady is on vacation (according to her voicemail message) so I can't find out whether I got the job yet or not and all the bill collectors are calling. AH is drinking more than ever so I'm basically raising his children and my daughter while babysitting a 43 year old man who acts like a retarded 3 year old. A friend of mine lost his mom. He went to check on her and found her in a pool of blood on her kitchen floor. She had lung cancer and had been dead for a couple of days. My grandma's lung cancer may have come back so they're running more tests. My grandpa just got diagnosed with breast cancer and is going in this week for surgery (who knew men got that). My mom went in to the hospital last week for a CAT scan. It showed that she has tumors on her liver so they're doing an ultra sound next week on her. I have been PMSing for days so I spent most of last week crying over all this shit. It's a good thing I'm broke or I'd have been on a tequila binge by now.

When it rains, it pours. I guess I'd rather that all the bad stuff happen at once, though. It would suck worse if it was all strung out to ruin a longer period of life. (I'm trying to think on the bright side here) "Things will get better very soon, things will get better very soon, things will get better very soon."

I am a very independent person and like to be very much in control of my life most of the time. Life has taught me that I can only really count on me so I try to prepare for the worse and I always try to have a backup plan. I think that there are times though, when no matter what you do, things are not in your control. Life can get sooo overwhelming that the only thing to do is to let go a little bit and let whatever is going to happen, happen and try to have some faith that it will all be OK.

After all, things could be worse. It could have been my child who is sick and I am thankful that I have her safe and sound. I still have a roof over my head and a car that isn't much but it's paid for. I am healthy and have the ability to look for work. Very soon I will be employed again and my money worries will be gone like they were before. Soon after that, my daughter and I will be in our own house again with our kitty cats and there will be no drunk on the couch to deal with. And if my family members are sick, at least I live close enough to spend lots of time with them and show them that I love them before they go.

That's all I have to say today.