Short stuff

1. AH got paid today. Dish is back on, YAY!

2. His kids asked me if I'm moving out and then followed it with "We don't want you to leave." Tough conversation.

3. My favorite aunt is in town from Colorado. Her timing is perfect. Talking to her makes me think straight.

4. I sang Kareoke with mom, aunt and uncle in a small, dive tavern all night Wednesday. Had a blast. Rocked the locals.

5. My 13 year old daughter went to stay with her dad tonight. I miss her.

6. Oreos dipped in milk makes a great breakfast.

7. When you snap your fingers, does the sound come from your fingers popping off of each other or when your middle finger hits the base of your thumb? Or both?

8. My kitties know exactly when to come over and sit by me.

9. I'm a saltaholic.

10. Open Water is one of the best rated, WORST movies on soooo many levels that I have ever watched. Hated it! I can't believe I made it through the whole thing. But when the dish is off, you get desperate.

8th Grade Science, Pass or Fail?

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 7/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

Good to know if I ever want to relive the 8th grade. I guess some of that shit actually sunk in! Thanks again, Mr. Hawk (science teacher).

Entry in my yearbook from Mr. Hawk: "If what we would have done was what we could have done, we might have had a lot more fun than we had doing what we should have done." (I'm pretty sure that's a quote from someone else, original author unknown.) I wonder what he was trying to say to me.....hmmmmm.

Breathe in...Breathe out...Breathe in...Breathe out...

AH works four "tens" and has Saturday, Sunday and Monday off so he's back to work for the week. Time to relax. And to get some things accomplished. I toured 2 more apartments yesterday then went by a friend's house to visit. I wasn't ready to go home yet. A guy she met the night before was coming over to watch movies and she begged me to stay awhile. They kept me there until 4:30 am playing cards and drinking beer. FUN. I needed it. And I'm happy for her. He was really nice. This one has boyfriend potential. He showed up with flowers, an 18 pack of Coors light and played cards with her friend all night. Has a job, a car, doesn't live with his mom, all his teeth and hair, can form complete sentences and is 6'6". Hmmmm.....She'll tell me later. Did I mention that he's also 27 to her 34 years. Younger man, whoohoo!!!

After sleeping most of today away, I haven't done much. I did register for classes online, though. Spring term starts Monday. Yah, THIS Monday. Yikes! I'll be praying to the Financial Aid Gods because it might not go through for this term. If it doesn't, I'll end up having to drop my classes. It's because I quit going during fall term when Grandma got diagnosed with cancer. We're very close. I took it hard and couldn't handle school at the same time. I had straight A's up until then so I'm really kicking myself. So, they'll either give me another chance or not and I won't find out for about a week. It'll be OK either way, I'll figure something else out, I always do.

Life is so weird right now. Everything is an uncertainty. It's been a long time since I've felt like this. I'm on the edge of some major turning points in my life. This time last year, I was on my 6th year working for the state, in a fairly solid 3 year relationship and couldn't have imagined leaving AH's kids. Now I'm unemployed and not sure which way to go and very close to being just me and my daughter again. Every aspect of my life is changing. Love. Work. Home. Family. I'm gonna hang on and try to enjoy the ride, even if it's a scary one.

Oh, and I'm switching all my underwear to thongs.

Haunted places near you

If you go here and scroll down you can click on your state and it will tell you about the haunted places. There's lots of them. Check it out.

Bright Side

Gotta say something positive for the day. Life's not all bad. You gotta check out Beauty and the Beer. Friggin' cracks me up on a daily basis! Here's to ya, gurl. CHEERS!!!

Get me to get me outa here

I know, I know, I know. I need to break up with Asshole and get my life back. It's not that easy, though. He has full custody of his kids who are now 9(girl) and 10(boy). They were taken away from their mom (because she's a waist of air) about 3 1/2 years ago. Then she skipped the state about 6 months after that, leaving me as their new mommy. I have been through everything you can imagine with them and with the X. We finally had to change our phone #s about a year and a half ago so she couldn't harass us anymore from another state. She's wanted in 2 states that we know of and supposedly married again to some idiot that fell for her shit.

So, I'm very attached and protective over the kids. I don't want Asshole to accidently not raise them right after everything I've done to make their lives right. I do have my own 13 yr old daughter to worry about though, so it's a very hard decision to make. What did I get myself into? The biggest step I have taken is deciding to at least be ready so that when it's time, I can go.

Step one: pick out an apartment that I would like to rent
I called on 41 of them today and took a tour of one of them
Step two: Have a garage sale
It's already planned for the weekend of the 15th
Step three: take things I don't want anymore to the dump (Do they take boyfriends?)
It makes sense to me to do this AFTER the garage sale.

It feels good to have a plan of action. At least I'm going in the right direction. And looking for a place is kind of fun. I met a very nice man in his 60s today on my tour that I think has the hots for me now. He was about falling all over himself to get me to rent his place. Didn't even ask for a credit check. Very flattering.

Another fucked up day....

I cannot believe my life is so shitty. My blood is boiling AGAIN. I'm going to die of adrenaline overload. Is that possible? Did I mention that at 34 years old, I'm a stroke risk? Some malfunction with the blood vessels in my brain. Anyway, Asshole just left. I woke up this morning and the Dish is shut off. NO FUCKING TV. I told him yesterday for the millionth time that we needed to pay it or it'll get shut off. I've had my half ready to go. He informed me yesterday that he has no money until Thursday (paid every 2 weeks). He makes twice as much money as I have to live on and I still manage to pay my half of EVERYTHING. I asked him where his money went and, apparently, it's none of my business. I've been with you for 4 years, I know all of your bills, DUMB ASS. He tried to come up with more expenses that he had in the last 10 days since payday and STILL $300.00 is missing. Then I get up today and before I can even call and make arrangements with the Dish company, NO TV. !!!!!!!!FUCK!!!!!!!! I can live without it for 5 days but what do I tell my 13 year old daughter when she gets home today from her slumber party? Do you remember being 13? She wants her MTV. And he can't understand how what he does with his money is any of MY business. IT'S NOT, ASSHOLE, UNLESS OUR FUCKIN' TV GETS SHUT OFF. That's 4 TVs in this house that don't work now. And that's 2 days in a row that suck because of him. I feel like he pisses me off at least once a day but I'm gonna start keeping count from here on out just to see what the ratio is. As he's leaving, "Are you just gonna find something to be pissed off about every day? ME: "I don't know, what the fuck are you gonna come up with tomorrow?" So far he's 2 outa 2.

AHHHHHHH!!!!

I fucking hate my boyfriend. Fucking HATE him!!! I can't believe he can take a perfectly enjoyable day of garage saling away from me by picking a non-stop fight with me the WHOLE ENTIRE TIME. Sure, Fucker, the one day you offer to drive for a change, you decide that since you have me held hostage you can bring up the same old bullshit for 5 hours. I cannot believe I didn't walk home. But I guess walking about 5 miles in the rain is not my idea of a good time either and I kept hoping he would stop. Yay for you, ASSHOLE. Pat yourself on the back for going 10 whole days without drinking after doing it daily for 4 years. And don't bother to mention to anyone, while you're bragging about it, that I had to threaten all kinds of shit to get you to do it. Then trap me in your truck and try to convince me that since you stopped for 10 days that you should be allowed to drink once in a while and still get to sleep in my bed since this proves you're not an alcoholic. Hmmmmm.... Let's think about this one....After 10 days of no beer, wine or tequila you are trying to cut a deal with me so you can drink. Sounds like an alcoholic to me. Fucking Pathetic Asshole. I'm soooo outa here, I'm moving out, you just wait.

Update:
Oh, it get's better...30 minutes after we get home....
Asshole: "Hey, want to go in the bedroom and have make-up sex?"
Me: "Ha! No, thankyou."
Asshole: "OK, just thought I'd ask."
20 minutes later....
Asshole: "Hey, how about..."
Me: "No, I don't want to so don't even go there."
Asshole: "Ok, but can I ask you why not?"
Me:"Because I don't want to and that should be enough of a reason."
Asshole: "So, what's wrong with me asking?"
Me: "Nothing if you could take the NO as an answer and drop it for once."
Asshole: "Oh, I know, now it'll be 6 months before we ever do it again."
Me: "You're not making me want to do it anytime soon by harassing me about it."
Asshole: "When was I harassing you about it?"
Me: "When you couldn't just take the NO without asking why not and trying to give me the guilt trip.........Oh, fuck you, forget it. This is a waist of time."
Asshole: "Watch your language."

FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCKER!!! God, he makes me mad! Another shitty day with no fun for me down the drain. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. How many more days am I going to let Asshole steal from my life? I SO should have bought the 3 foot sword we saw at that garage sale.

Ok, one more....

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until 6 feet wide".

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Joke

I got so drunk one night that, when someone told me THIS joke, I laughed until I fell off the bar stool. That's a lot of Tequila. I'm surprised I remembered the joke.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but the light bulb has to REALLY WANT to change.

How Evil am I ?

You Are 50% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

Personally, I think 50% is just about right. You know, the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. Except I don't think they can really judge by this dumb quiz alone. I would have gotten WAY more creative with the questions. Still, the spooky baby doll does much for the cool factor so I'm keeping it.

Introductions

I should start out with some specs so when I start bitching it'll make sense. I live with my boyfriend of 4 years, his two kids (full custody, psycho x-mom with no visitation, ages 9 & 10), my 13 yr old daughter and 3 cats. I'm 34 and unemployed by choice for the 1st time in 20 years. Might go back to school, might get another job, definately taking a break and currently undecided. No life. I should create a new one. I'll let ya know how it goes.

Flirting